did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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