the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
