What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
