I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
