And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
