Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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