Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
