Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Never joke about your clitoris.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
