u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
