You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
