I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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