no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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