the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
