if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
