I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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