watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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