dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
