Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
