fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
