Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
