I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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