FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
