So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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