he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
