i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i think my cat just said my name.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
