listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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