dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
