I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
