ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
