Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
