is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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