I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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