I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
