I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dignity is for republicans.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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