THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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