Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
handjob tips. give me some.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
