You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
