you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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