do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
