I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
