roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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