lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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