Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
