How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There's always time for handjobs
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
