their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
