If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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