And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
barbara walters just said penis...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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