As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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