only if we run a train.
done.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
