3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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