do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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