East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
