New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
