Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
