YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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